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Football jokes... (And I'm not specifically talking about the players...) See comments.
Q: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog? A: Because they can't hold on to a lead. Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag? A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer. Q: Why do English make better lovers than Portugese/Germans? A: Because English are the only one's who can stay on top for 45 Minutes and still come second! Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal team? A: They are both useless in Europe! Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England? A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine? A. A jet engine eventually stops whining. Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and David Beckham. You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do? A. Shoot Beckham - twice. Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English football fan on the road? A. There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him? A. It could be your bicycle. Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered." The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order." Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded." The fourth one says, "I prefer English football fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable." Did you hear about the UK politician who was found dead in an English football jersey? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment. Did you hear that the UK Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps with pictures of English football players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand? A. Not enough sand. |
May 2004
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